Life Lessons

-Friday … the day before the 4th of July … good morning.

-It goes with out saying, that by this time of year – we Minnesotans are enjoying “summer”.  But this year, summer and warm weather have just plain eluded us for cooler temperatures and limited amounts of sunshine.

Out in our back yard this morning, we have 54 degrees and clear skies.  Today’s weather forecast for the back yard and surrounding areas of Minnesota is: Partly cloudy. Highs 68 to 73. North winds around 5 mph becoming southwest in the late morning and early afternoon…then becoming northwest late in the afternoon.

Color weather radar shows most of Minnesota being clear this morning, with an area of rain in south and eastern South Dakota moving toward the south west corner of Minnesota.

-I got me thinking the other day, as I was sitting here at home – all alone … how there are so many life lessons you learn as a gay man but we never seem to share them all with each other.

Sadly, there is really no book or guide for us to follow from the time that we realize we are gay and our life begins.  Most of our lives as gay men, is simply by trial and error.  We try this or try that, and it either works or it doesn’t work.

I thought I would share with you the lessons I came across a few weeks ago, hoping they’ll help you along your journey.  Some may be lessons you already know, but it never hurts to read them again, and they may even help us support each other through life.

Here are some really good life lessons for you as a gay man:

1. If he loves you, accept that love and don’t be a nit picker and a complainer.  Accept his love for all of your life, and be happy.  Wow, that’s certainly an area all of us can work on – but most especially me.  My partner Steve is so awesome and I’m so dumb … he gives and gives for “us” and for me – and yet I sometimes don’t recognize his love and giving – because I get wrapped up in me, me and me.  Hey, I’m not the only one alive in this relationship … it’s “us” – the two of us, not the one of us.

2. There used to be an old idea of thought … that big feet equaled having a big dick.  Just because that guy your interested in, has big feet doesn’t mean he will have a big dick.  Look on the inside and see how big his heart is – and regardless of his dick size, you’ll be glad you did because you’ve found a quality guy who loves you.

3. No one will make you happy.  They will do their very best, and you’ll experience happy moments and days in life, but you ultimately have to make yourself happy – no one can really do that for you.  This one has been a valuable lesson for me, because in the past few years – I’ve finally realized that I am ultimately responsible for my own happiness.

4. To get love, you must give love.  This is another one of those lessons that I’m learning … because I want love from Steve always – but I don’t think I return love in an appropriate way or sometimes I just get bogged down in my own feelings.

5. Opportunity knocks only once, so you need to be ready to answer the door.  I realized that in June of 1999, when I met Steve … and I answered the door and thank goodness I did – because Steve was then and is now the man I NEED in my life always.  I hope and trust that is the same feeling he has for me.

6. There are two types of people: go-getters and no-getters. I like to think I’m a “go-getter” and I hope I’m not failing at that task.

7. Learn to forgive and let go; no one likes someone who is bitter.  Now this is another valuable life lesson that I’m learning right now … sometimes I get upset … no actually many times I guess I get upset – and I’m very very poor at letting go or learning to forgive and forget.  It’s an area I’ll have to work on, til the day I draw my very last breath.

8. Don’t be an asshole.  Surprisingly, there are many guys who are … not necessarily by out right choice – but it just happens.

9. If you don’t know where you are going in life you’ll be stuck exactly where you are right now.  In my own life, I know that I made bad choices 35 to 40 years ago – and now today, I’m paying for those choices – because I can not always be me – as much as I want to.

10. Learn to laugh at yourself.  Now I have to tell you, this is something I am really bad at.  I don’t take joy in myself … and many times I am my own worst enemy … I beat myself up, and sometimes it is simply because I don’t like who I am.  Ever have that happen to you?

11. A partner will never complete your life; he can only add to it.  Here again, only you – yes you – can complete your own life – no matter how hard that may seem, you have final and ultimate control over your destiny by the choices you make.

12. A friend points out your flaws in life. A true friend and a loving partner loves you as you are.  This is one area where I am very fortunate, because my Steve, is constantly putting me up and building me up and telling me how good I am – because as much of a block head as I am most of the time – Steve loves me, and he wants the best for me, so he doesn’t look for the flaws in my life (for which I have many) but he accentuates the positive aspects of who I am and why he loves me.  He builds me up.  (How can I thank you pal, for being the rock in my life?)…I’ll give of myself to you not only today, but always … because even though there are 27 years difference in our ages – I know he loves me and I love him.

13. We can either look for the flaws, mistakes and shortcomings in people, or we can look for the successes, the opportunities and the joy.  Steve has perfected this in me and his life, and I need to do the same.

14. No one cares what you say you are going to do. They only care what you actually do.  Here again, action speaks louder than words.

15. Accept the decisions you have made for they have made you the person you are today. You can always change the person you are, going forward.

16. When in doubt, just whip it out … have sex with your partner, love him, laugh with him and enjoy life – because I’m learning at age 62 .. almost 63 – that life is damn short.  Have fun!

OK, so maybe number 15 isn’t the best life lesson but you get the point. I really hope these life lessons help you or even make you laugh and think about who you are and what you have in life.

I would love to hear what life lessons you can share with Steve and I.

What are some things or ideas you have learned along the way – as a gay male?  We’d love to hear your comments.

-If your upset because I’m “sanitizing” our blog – with better photos and less “cock” – it is simply because I realized your can see “cock” any where on the internet – but there are hundreds .. no thousands of good looking guys – who will keep your imaginative eyes and mind wondering what they’ve got “under neath” – that I don’t have to show them in some sleazy way – but you instead can see the beauty they have for who they truly are.

I hope that gives you a glimpse into my thinking … if not, well it works for me.

-If your heading out today for a long 4th of July weekend … please remember to be safe, and watch your driving and that of the other guy.

-Happy 4th of July weekend to all of you … we’ll see you again tomorrow morning, right back here.