As I Sit Here

-Thursday … the 9th of July, just 10 days away from my upcoming birthday.  Good morning everyone and welcome.

-Outside this morning in our back yard we have clear skies and 50 degrees.

The weather forecast for today for our back yard and this region of Minnesota is calling for: Increasing clouds. A slight chance of showers and thunderstorms in the morning…then a chance of showers and thunderstorms in the afternoon. Highs 65 to 70. Cooler by Lake Superior. Southeast winds 10 to 15 mph. Chance of rain 60 percent.

Color weather radar does indicate a long narrow ban of rain from Canada to Iowa along the western border to Minnesota and North Dakota/South Dakota borders at this hour moving in an easterly direction.  The bulk of the rain appears to be in the southern half of Minnesota while that rain in the northern half almost appears at this our to be dissipating.

-Today is weigh in day for me.  This will be the end of week 4.  Last week, on weigh in day at the end of week 3, I had lost 17 pounds.  We did have the 4th of July and for one meal I did slightly go off of my diet having a burger and bun with chips and a few baked beans … plus the fact that for the past two days I’ve been suffering from a cold and although I’ve gotten out to walk and eat well – this morning I am not sure if I lost much or not.  But when I weigh in about 6:30 a.m. time will tell for sure.

Ok, I just weighed in and I lost 2 more pounds for a total of 19 pounds.  I’m pretty happy about that weight loss.

-Yesterday was a really quiet day for me … Steve was gone all day and all evening.  He worked days at his primary job and then went to play softball at 7:00 p.m. and stopped to have a beer and supper at the bar with the rest of his team at 8:00 p.m. and didn’t get home til a bit after 9:00 p.m.  His team, unfortuntely lost … I won’t post the score, but let’s say it would have been closer to a football game score than a softball game score.

I felt bad for him, when he called and said his team lost.

Earlier in the day, I had the misfortune of getting into a discussion with a relative of Steve’s on the internet … about our being “gay” and our lifestyle.  It was an unfortunate situation … and one that I tried to avoid at all costs … but seemingly this relative just kept pushing me in chat and eventually it ended in a more unhappy way than what I would have wanted.

That left me in a “funk” most of the day, because all I ever wanted in June of 1999 when I met Steve was (1) his friendship, (2) his love and (3) is loyalty to that love and the privacy of our relationship to last forever.  But some people, and this is not the first time in my life this has happened … just need to pry and pry and get overly inquisitive about the lives of others (Steve and I) and need to know more than they should about our lives.

One of my clerical staff a few years ago, starting prying into our lives … and what Steve and I do in our lives is for the most part our own business.  We are not two gay men who wear our lives on our sleeves and parade around the world and here in our community saying “hey…see us, we’re a gay homo couple”…etc., etc.  That’s just not us, and never will be.

In our ten plus years, we’ve kept our relationship personal and private and we’ve just enjoyed what God has made us to be…a gay couple in love.

I felt bad telling Steve about this chat with his relative on the internet … it left a feeling of distrust, hurt and confusion in my mind … and made for an uncomfortable day … knowing that someone … a relative of his was … going way out of bounds to place me and perhaps Steve in a some what uncomfortable position.

Life marches on … I know for a fact I won’t be chatting with that individual probably ever again – and that in fact is sad, because I only met this person one other time – and thought he was a very nice guy.

Such is life.

-I was reading the internet yesterday and I came across something that was delivered back in 1992 to the Bennington College class commencement.  I could not help but realize how absolutely amazing this concept would be, if just allowed to work in the lives of every person who would take time to put these principles to work for themselves:

1. Never lie, and never let anyone cause you to lie. Truth, or the pursuit of it, is all we have.
2. Never do anything you are ashamed of. If you’re ashamed that means somewhere inside you think it’s wrong; and if you think it’s wrong, you shouldn’t be doing it.
3. Take full responsibility for yourself. You are the only one who can say what goes into or comes out of your body.
4. Always admit when you’re wrong. You’ll save thousands in therapy later — and a few friendships too.
5. Change your mind as often as possible. Just because you thought something yesterday doesn’t mean you have to think it today. Don’t ever become a prisoner of your own opinion.
6. Beware of anyone who says they know. Trust me, they don’t, or they wouldn’t have to say they did.
7. Take care of yourself first, then your family, then your friends. And if you have anything left over, share it.
8. Do something, anything, every day to change the world. It doesn’t have to be big, it could be giving a dime to a street person, planting a flower, picking up litter. Anything will change the world.
9. When you have nothing better to do, smile. You’ll have to trust me on the miracle this step brings.
10. Make a bit of time every day to be alone and think. Five or ten minutes is enough. It will keep you sane.
11. Have all the sex you want — safe sex. Get lust out of your way. It’s the only way I know to make sure you fall in love for the right reasons. And I want you all to find true love.
12. Learn something new every day. Read a newspaper article that you wouldn’t normally read. Open a dictionary to a word you never heard, or never understood.

In my estimation … powerful stuff, as I sit here on this Thursday morning … those are my thoughts.