Facebook? Ummmm, Yep!

-A while back I talked about Facebook and kind of put it down … not really wanting to get involved in the “social networking environment” … simply because I didn’t really feel comfortable with it at all.

One of Steve’s gal friends and wife of one of his college buddies, got us “interested” in Facebook a number of months ago.  But after our conversation with her – I was kind of in fear of “gay guys” from our past contacting Steve and or I – should they see our Facebook photos and putting the “hit” on Steve if they realized who and what we were.

I will confess this … if you haven’t yet detected it from my several years of writing this blog … I’m very protective of Steve, and a bit insecure – to be very honest.  He’s younger than me by 27 years and Steve has a very “boyish” look ( he really looks like he is about 23 years old ) and older guys would love to probably sweep him up and have their sexual way with him, and I know he likes older men of a certain type – and I never wanted “anyone” or “anything” to come between us in our relationship.  By this I mean men from my past or men from his past – whether it be one man or five men.

Instinctively, I looked up the few names I knew of the few men who may have or ever did know my actual name – and I blocked them on Facebook – the reason being, is that I never wanted anything to do with them ever again.

Well, we’ve been together now and are in our 11th year – and with such a big age difference – hey, as the T shirts’ said years ago “Shit Happens”.  And it could – no matter who we are or what we think or what we have.  Believe me, I know of that which I speak … these kinds of things can happen.

But I have firm and strong faith, as I believe Steve does also – in our relationship and in our commitment to one another for a life time partnership – but I also realize that “temptation” has ruined many a good relationships … so I saw his having contact with his old friends from here in Minnesota as a potential threat to “our relationship” and it bugged the heck out of me to think about it.

I was extremely hesitant to join Facebook.  Call me narrow minded, call me old and stupid – but I want to protect us from any person that would want to come between us.  Is that bad?  I hope not.

But I realized one day around the early of May, 2009 – that I was going to trust my faith in Steve and God and in “us’ and our 10 plus year relationship – and get a Facebook account – so I did.

I’m not out there “cruising for friends” but I’ve got a few of Steve’s family members, some of my family members, some of my high school and college classmates, and yes my partner Steve ( yes he got an account after I got mine ) and that’s about it.

I’m ashamed to say that I’m on Facebook now, several times a day.  The vast majority of people who are friends with me via Facebook are people I haven’t spoken to in forever, like high school classmates and acquaintances from “over the years” that I will never see again.

Total friend count is 44 as of today.

-So what are the positive and negative aspects of being a Facebook member?

Positive: you can keep up with every one (if they have an account that is)

Negative: you spend way too much time on it… admit it, how many times have you logged on to see if some one commented/messaged you?

Positive: Time consumer, for when you have nothing better to do … but time consuming for sure.

Negative: Non-customizable, as there isn’t much I can do the change the layout of Facebook.

Positive: More people are starting to convert to Facebook.  When I joined Facebook there were about 73,500 members in the network that I am in.  Today that number has grown to 80,873 members.  So that’s a lot of growth in just a few months, which is good.

Positive: It can tell you who you may know, and how you know people that ask to be your friend.

Negative: Kind of hard to pick up, not as easy to learn.

There are a lot of little tricks and short cuts in Facebook – that even I haven’t come across – and I think every single day I am learning something new about the social website.

Take away the people I don’t care about but who are friends and I’m left with maybe a few or so friends that I see regularly online and don’t need to see their Facebook profile to stay updated with them.

What does this amount to? A lot of wasted time on a social networking web site. Facebook is meant to be used to make friends and stay updated, and I use it to do neither, really.

Has anyone ever actually made a new friend from beloning to Facebook? Imagine if somebody were to friend you, start sending you messages, and then just ask to start hanging out. I don’t know about you, but I’d be a bit creeped out.

But come to think about it – I did find a new female cousin that I didn’t know I had.  We’ve chatted … maybe once or twice, and the same is true with her some who contacted me and is my friend.  But that’s the exception to the rule.

There’s also the risk of using Facebook in the workplace.  One of Steve’s female work associates is on and off Facebook every single day in here office.  Now where the productivity for the job that she’s supposed to have?  I’m not sure if Steve goes on his Facebook at work or not.  Hmmmm?  I don’t think he does, or at least not very often.

A Global Secure Systems survey last year revealed that office workers might spend up to a half-hour daily ( now that’s about three weeks a year ) on social networking web sites like Facebook,  instead of working. Obviously, this is a matter of self-control, but “just five minutes” to go and update your status adds up over time.

On top of the wasted time, you also have to worry about the security of such web sites and whether or not your employers computer department is tracking your where abours on the internet via their network software.  When I was working last year, I was fully aware ( because I knew these guys, having done some computer technician work on the side ) that company network software – keeps track of “everything” you do and even things you don’t do.    It takes me no effort at all to find out more about a person than I really care to know just by looking at their Facebook and just imagine taking that risk at work and ending up having your boss fire your butt for using Facebook.  Hmmm, not to smart!

Ask yourself this question:

How badly do you really need to check your Facebook, when your at work all day long?

My suggestion is simply this…because I know Facebook can be somewhat addicting … make an attempt to go a day, even a few days a week, without Facebook and see what happens. Have a conversation with somebody. Go visit friends at home. Don’t you find it ironic that people are “making friends” while sitting alone in front of a computer?

Maybe, just maybe some people should stop social networking, and be social.  You know, one on one, face to face.

The need to network may become a hindrance to your job performance as well. Think that picture of you with a beer in one hand and well whatever? Well, the guy who just conducted your interview didn’t think it displayed an attitude appropriate for the job. Many people don’t expect their potential employers to do personal research on them and get caught with their pants down (sometimes literally) through a Facebook page.

Just my thoughts on this Tuesday morning … Kind of looks cloudy and gray out there today, with color weather radar showing some rain – but only to the south of us.  We need rain around here – but I’m one of those guys who likes to see it rain “when I’m sleeping”.

Have a great day … and you to Steve – I know you’ll be reading this goofy page when you get up and before you leave for work.

I love you pal ~ I really really do.  Thanks for being there for me and for always coming to my rescue … even on Facebook.

Post Script: Sorry guys, our facebook names and email addresses – aren’t available for public consumption – we just wanna maintain some of our private lives.  Thanks for understanding.